I recently watch a TED talk on the subject of happiness and it got me to thinking about mine. I guess that’s a question everyone asks themselves every day: Will this make me happy? Am I happy? Etc… But I don’t think many of us really truly look at it from a deeper stand point. I mean other than regarding the current moment; we don’t ever take a step back and analyze our lives at a whole.
The talk was recommended to me by my boyfriend, not because he thinks I’m unhappy but because he knows I enjoy travel and it’s used as an example.
The speaker’s main point was that we should separate our experience self and our memory self, and both have differences in happiness. Or more clearly it’s the difference between us experiencing something and being happy in the present moment to moment and having a memory of an experience and how pleased we are with our remembered lives.
So the money question is am I happy? And most importantly what is happiness to me?
Truth is I’m not happy in my daily life. Most of my experience daily is a succession of let downs. Mostly because I set goals or expectations that I don’t live up to and I punish myself and feel bad for not doing better.
It’s a catch 22, I feel overwhelmed or unhappy trying to live up to these tasks or failing to do so; or because I worked so hard, went through adversity the reward makes me very happy. So should I be unhappy in the moment to have a happier memory in the end?
This is mostly spurred on by money, health or accomplishing larger life goals. So is it just me that is not fulfilling my own dreams and experiences, ie I’m ruining my own happy experience?
I think in part it is. In terms of money I do feel happier when I have more money and am not worrying about making ends meet. When I was earning more I found I was more motivated and easier going with my daily life. So I was happy in one way. However I was miserable in my job and that unhappiness branched out into other aspects of my life. So was I really happy? I don’t think so. And more so now that I am making less but am in a job that I like for a number of reasons I find I’m happier but also have to deal with the troubles of financial woe.
The speaker did mention that money does play a role in experiential happiness. For people that earn $60,000 their experiences and happiness during them don’t rise the more money they make, however people who earn less get more and more unhappy in their experiences in the struggle to make ends meet. Both may have happy memories and be happy with their lives but their present moments of experience are unhappy. Is this happening with me?
Now besides money, I am a person spurred on by life experiences. I have been working on my bucket list and find while I am afraid and not having the best moment to moment experience at the time, the feeling of accomplishment and memory of the occurrences to me are worth it. So in that case I am very happy with my remembered life and memories. I don’t need to have a in the moment happy experience.
In terms of my traveling and love of doing it I think it hits both aspects of happiness. It is defiantly something I do for the memories and experiences and I remember them with fond recollection. I feel happy with my life for going around the world and doing strange things. My adventures make for good stories and connections with other people. Strangely I am also happy in the moment. During my travels I’m able to step back and appreciate what I’m experiencing. This is probably one part of my life where I am happy all the time before, during and after. That may be why I love doing it over and over again.
So what’s worth more to me? Current or remembered happiness? Deep down I believe my memories and remembered experiences are who I am and make a difference in how I act in the current moment.
Am I happy with my life? Yes I think I am. I’ve accomplished and done so many things I can only be happy with my memories. These have formed me into a person I am proud of. The thing I have to remember is to stop and smell the roses every once in a while. I need to make sure I live in the moment more and ensure I’m happy with it.
What do you think? What makes you happy?
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