Turns out I’ve really been in the bad on posting anything. And what makes it worse is that means that I’m not doing anything either. No bucket list, no adventures, no nothing.
So why the nothing? Why the halt in my writing, my adventures, my action?
Meet my biggest enemy: Motivation
I am a procrastinator. I wont lie I am. Lazy would be another word but I feel like I am active ish and with all my travels, socializing, and adventures I can’t believe I’m too lazy. But there it is, procrastination is my middle name.
I think it comes from being scared to do something. I get nervous even building up to having to call and inquire about something important. As a child we never talked about our problems or how to solve them. You figured it out on your own. So mustering up the energy to do something or say something and it not work out is a huge blow; to not only not getting the thing done but also your ego. It’s another reminder you are alone in this, no one will be there to help you out or get you out of it.
It’s also a typical learn from example scenario. I grew up surrounded by people who didn’t follow through or put things off. Still to this day they are promising things they will never get around to doing. Now I work very hard to not be this way, cus that would suck and I hate letting people down. But I know I don’t follow through enough. And the person it hurts most is me.
Besides the deep seeded traits of my youth, haha, I think money has a huge effect on my motivation. Since I switched jobs and my money flow is now super tight I find it hard for me to get energized to do something. It’s a tug a war between the need to save money and the want to have a social life and have fun. Most of the time fun looses.
As I stay in more I tend to watch a lot of TV (I’ve already solidified my movie whore status, branching now into TV shows). This zombiehood in front of the TV ensures I’m not very active or motivated to do anything else. So in short it’s a number of reasons that escalate and snowballs into my stand still of laziness.
What does get me motivated?
Now I try to limit my TV consumption so I don’t get into that zone. That helps a lot. Staying away from the tube allows me to be in the now and get things done. However that also involves going out, maybe spending money, and sometimes not being able to just chill and relax, which is what I want to do most when I’m not working.
Also the weather plays a huge role on my mood. Like Superman or Captain Planet I get most of my energy from the sun. So when it’s sunny outside I get a rush of energy both physically and mentally. I’m more likely motivated to go for walks, be social or accomplish something (be it small or large task).
For years my boyfriend has been preaching the benefits and ideology of better eating and fitness. And while I agree with him I’ve always been a slow learner. Lately I’ve been taking a considerable effort to try to eat healthier, drink more water, and work out properly. After even a week and now two or three I do feel better and have a lot more energy. I have to admit I don’t feel as tired and it’s easier for me to get up and get things done. I’ve really noticed since I’ve slipped up and gotten back in bad habits that I’m tired, slower and less inclined to do stuff. So now I have to suck it up and admit defeat to that battle. He’s definitely going to rub it in my face….
In short what I’ve learned is that you need to focus to motivate yourself. While it’s easier and more comfortable to be lazy and do nothing life isn’t on the couch, it’s out there. I need to remember why I’m unmotivated and the reasons I should be and remember what gets me motivated. It’s my enemy and I can fight my own battles, cus the only person who can get me up and going is me.
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